Someone lent me an old issue of Tinhouse and I cam across this quote: “The defining characteristic of the literary vocation may be that those who possesses it experience the exercise of their craft as its own best reward, much superior to anything they might gain from the fruits of their labors. That is one thing I am sure of, amid my many uncertainties regarding the literary vocation: deep inside, a writer feels that writing is the best thing that has ever happened to him, or could ever happen to him, because as far as he is concerned, writing is the best possible way of life, never mind the social, political, or financial rewards of what he might achieve through writing.” — Mario Vargas Llosa, The Parable of the Tapeworm This is what it's like sometimes.